Count the Ways
by Reba Jean
Summary: First season sequel to By the Numbers. As in the manga, Darien knew Sailor Moon's identity early, but she only now learns her irritating friend's secret. Prequel to All My Brothers


Count the Ways  
By: Reba Jean, April 18, 2002  
Homepage: http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/prairieskye/  
E-mail: rjean@ghg.net  
Rating: PG   
Genre: Romance/comedy  
  
Disclaimer: Characters are based on Sailor Moon copyright 1992 by Naoko   
Takeuchi/Kodansha, TOEI Animation, English language adaptation   
copyright 1995 by DIC Entertainment. This story is not intended for   
monetary gain or tangible profit, but purely for entertainment of the   
readers.   
  
Notes: First season Serena/Darien romance, sequel to "By the Numbers".   
A bit of manga, a little anime, and horror of horrors, mixing English   
dub and Japanese names - purists be warned. The timing falls closest   
to the manga timeline between Mina's arrival and Darien's capture by   
the Negaverse. As in the manga, Darien became aware of Serena's   
identity fairly early on, but she only now makes the connection between   
Tuxedo Mask and her irritating friend.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."   
  
~Elizabeth Barret Browning  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Andrew looked up as he heard the door chimes ring at the entrance of   
another customer. Darien stalked in arrogantly with that annoying   
trademark grin on his face, accompanied by a giggling Serena skipping   
beside him. They each held a small slip of paper. Andrew uttered a   
mock growl, "I thought I told you two that you were banned from the   
arcade until you could prove to me that you could get along together."  
  
Darien gave him a lazy grin, "I thought you might like to go to the new   
3-D 'creature' double feature at the mall with Serena and me. I've got   
an extra ticket."   
  
While Darien was talking, Serena slipped around the counter and up   
behind Andrew. She untied his apron, pulled it off, grabbed his wet   
towel and tossed them both on the counter. "You're all ready to go. I   
already talked to Lizzie on the phone and she said she would cover for   
you and close up tonight. You're going with us," Serena informed   
Andrew. She grabbed his collar and towed him out from behind the   
counter. She turned him around and looked up at him pleadingly with   
her big blue eyes. "You won't make me go all alone with HIM, will   
you?" she asked Andrew, widening her eyes and batting her eyelashes,   
flirting with him shamelessly. Serena grabbed Andrew and hugged him.   
Andrew reddened slightly and swallowed nervously, he could feel   
Darien's menacing glare boring through him.   
  
Serena felt her arms being loosened from around Andrew and herself   
pulled backwards against Darien, captured in his arms. He hissed into   
her ear, "Meatball Head, thirty-two, you're supposed to be showing   
Andrew how well you and I can get along; not how much you can flirt   
with him."   
  
Serena giggled, "Someone's getting a little jealous I think." Darien   
growled and glared in response to Andrew's snicker at their little by-  
play.   
  
Andrew stood by the door and taunted, "Well are we going or not? Or   
are you two going to stand there and make out or something?" He ducked   
out the door as Serena threw a towel at him.  
  
The three friends were seated down near the front of the theatre   
waiting for the first film to begin. Serena had already devoured her   
large tub of popcorn, box of candy, hot dog, and pickles, and was   
eyeing Andrew's food covetously. Darien had finished his small bag of   
peanuts before Serena could grab it away. Andrew gave up and handed   
her his half-eaten bag of popcorn. Darien commented, "We can get some   
more snacks at the intermission between the movies."  
  
"Not me, Buddy. I'm wiped out; if Serena wants more you'll be doing   
the paying," Andrew taunted.  
  
Darien replied, "Shh. The Wonderful True Story of Squid and Octopus   
Habitats is about to start." He watched the screen with rapt   
attention.  
  
"Ewuee. This is a SCIENCE movie. Yuck. Boring. How could you pick   
something like that, Darien?" Serena whined. Andrew snickered and   
waited for the eruption.  
  
"Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn something for once, Meatball   
Head," Darien sniped.  
  
Serena glanced down at her paper, "You five, eleven, seven, thirteen."  
  
Darien smirked, "Very impressive, two. You can count."  
  
Andrew looked from one to the other. "Okay. What gives? What are you   
talking about?"  
  
"Oh, we were discussing futbol plays from the match on TV yesterday. I   
had forgotten which one they used to win. Serena must have just   
remembered it," Darien lied quickly.  
  
Andrew muttered, "Yeah, whatever. Somehow I just don't believe you."   
It was obvious they were keeping some secret from him. He hated that;   
it just drove him up the wall to know that he was being left out of   
something.  
  
The movie started and about five minutes into the film, Darien still   
stared at the screen with rapt interest. Andrew watched absently, it   
wasn't really his thing. Serena began snoring loudly. She began   
slumping over towards Darien. He grabbed her before she could topple   
over. Andrew leaned over and pushed back the seat arms. Serena   
squirmed to a comfortable position on Darien's lap with her head   
cradled on his chest. She drew up her legs and her feet swung over on   
Andrew. He grinned at Darien, "How come you get to hold the soft parts   
and all I get are her smelly feet? Wanna swap?"  
  
Darien looked over at Andrew with amusement, "No way. You know none of   
the girls can resist me."  
  
"I dare you to say that when she's awake. You'd be dead inside of two   
seconds. And I can't wait to see what she does when she wakes up   
sitting on your lap," Andrew retorted.  
  
Andrew didn't have long to wait as the science feature part of the   
program was only thirty minutes long. He pretended to be looking   
straight ahead at the movie, but would periodically sneak a glance at   
his friends. Sometimes they could be more entertaining than any movie.   
Darien's attention definitely wasn't focused on the movie any longer.   
Andrew could see that Darien was absently stroking Serena's hair, but   
even he was surprised when the dark haired man's eyes closed and he   
dipped his head to place a kiss on Serena's exposed collarbone. This   
alone would be worth the price of the movie admission and he hadn't   
even had to pay for his own ticket. Let Darien try to deny that he   
liked Serena now.  
  
A musical score played while the film credits were shown. Serena   
stirred and murmured something incoherent. Her eyes opened sleepily to   
the awareness of Darien's head resting against her own. She reached up   
and her fingertips brushed back the hair covering his eyes, trailed   
down the side of his face, and twined around his neck. Her eyes closed   
and she snuggled against him again. Darien whispered some numbers.   
Twenty-four and thirty-four, it sounded like. Andrew watched the   
tender romantic interlude between his friends with amusement. They   
seemed to have forgotten his presence. He only wished Serena hadn't   
finished off his popcorn. They were definitely more entertaining than   
the first boring movie.  
  
A loud rumble came from Serena's stomach as she stretched and   
announced, "I'm hungry. Somebody get me some more popcorn." As she   
became aware of just where she was sitting, she squawked and scrambled   
back into her own seat. The lights brightened for the intermission and   
Andrew could see that her face had turned bright red. She looked back   
over at Darien, her eyes flashing down to his lap where she had been   
sitting. She hissed, "You hentai, er, thirty-three."   
  
Darien reddened as well, but prudently remained silent; Andrew   
observed, biting his tongue to keep from laughing out loud. Darien   
stood up and said, "I'll go get some more popcorn. Either of you want   
anything else?" Andrew placed his order for a soda and some pretzels   
and Serena gave Darien her extensive shopping list.   
  
By the time Darien returned to the theater, the 3-D creature feature   
had already started. With the 3-D goggles, it looked like the huge   
creatures were swimming right toward the audience. Serena stirred   
uneasily, she was aware of the distinct feeling of immanent doom. The   
evil aura of the Negaverse was present and increasing. She twisted   
around looking for Darien. She was the only one to observe the change   
in him as his form wavered and his clothing darkened. She was   
surprised but not astonished; it seemed fitting in some weird way.  
  
Darien looked at the movie screen in horror; a gray fog with a dark   
center was forming. It looked like a Negaverse portal was opening   
right down below. He set down the tray of snacks and looking around   
quickly to see if he was being observed, silently transformed to his   
alter ego, Tuxedo Mask. The illusionary 3-D shapes were beginning to   
take on solid forms. As the audience discovered that something was   
wrong, screams began to echo across the auditorium. He hurried down to   
where Serena and Andrew were seated. Directing Serena, "Hurry and get   
Andrew to somewhere safe. I'll try to hold them off until the other   
senshi can get here to help."   
  
Serena quickly grabbed Andrew by the arm and dragged him down the aisle   
toward the exit in the midst of the panicking crowd. Looking around   
the hallway, she towed him into the men's room. "Stay here. It should   
be safer than out in the middle of that crowd. I'm going to the ladies   
room and see if anyone there needs help," she ordered. Her   
authoritative and commanding demeanor was unlike he had ever seen her   
before. Serena ducked into the vacant ladies room and quickly   
transformed into Sailor Moon. She activated her communicator and gave   
the other girls a terse summary of the situation.  
  
Sailor Moon flitted quickly back down the aisle to where Tuxedo Mask   
was crouched behind some piled up trash containers. He would   
periodically pop up and throw a rose toward one of the octopus and   
squid like monsters when one came within range. She put a hand on his   
shoulder and he turned toward her. She carefully examined the parts of   
his face that were visible beneath his mask and the dark blue eyes   
looking out at her. His identity was so obvious when you knew who was   
behind the mask.   
  
Sailor Moon swallowed and gathered her up all her courage. She gently   
placed her hands on either side of his face and drew him toward her.   
Sailor Moon briefly, but thoroughly, with barely restrained passion,   
kissed Tuxedo Mask. His eyes widened in astonishment and one hand flew   
to his lips. He regarded her with amazement. Sailor Moon flushed and   
said, "You're always there for me. I don't know how many times you've   
saved me. I've never gotten to say how much it means to me." The   
intimate moment passed and she detailed her strategy, "I'm going over   
across the room now and will try to distract them from the other side.   
The girls should be showing up any minute now."  
  
"Mercury Bubbles Blast!"  
  
A fog suddenly filled the room. Water spray, instantly freezing to   
razor sharp ice crystals, flew toward the creatures emerging from the   
dark portal in the center of the movie screen.   
  
"Jupiter Thunder Crash!"  
  
"Mars Fire Ignite!"  
  
The darkened theatre interior was periodically illuminated by lightning   
flashes and flames arcing across the vacant rows.   
  
"Venus Chain Encircle!"  
  
A glowing chain lashed out and wrapped around one of the monsters,   
immobilizing it until it could be dispatched.   
  
"Moon Tiara Action!"  
  
A golden frisbee flew across the room in curving arcs hitting one youma   
and then another.   
  
Showers of roses descended from above like a flock of arrows. The lame   
haiku's assaulted the youma master's ears, inflicting their own form of   
damage.  
  
The senshi attack calls rang out, accompanying the barely visible   
action.  
  
The pitched battle lasted only a few minutes, but the time had that   
stretched surreal quality when everything seemed to be in slow motion.   
A dripping tentacle lashed toward Mercury, wrapping around her, and   
dragging her toward the dark portal. Venus and Mars moved toward the   
fore, hitting the giant squid with a combined attack. Sailor Moon spun   
and faced toward the rear, dispatching a jellyfish-like creature that   
had slipped behind them with her thrown tiara.  
  
A lightning bolt flashed toward the dark form of the Nevaverse lackey   
fish-herder floating at the edge of the portal. A puff of smoke, the   
smell of singed hair, and an indignant yelp indicated a direct hit.   
The enemy shimmered and floated back through the dark tunnel, which   
then disappeared.   
  
"Great job, Jupiter! Now let's finish mopping up this mess!" yelled   
Sailor Venus.  
  
A few more monsters were destroyed. Sailor Mercury scanned the room   
once more. "All my readings are negative. We finally got them all.   
I'm tired and I still want to study for the competitive exam in logic   
next month. Let's book it."  
  
Sailor Moon whined, "I don't want to read any books. I never got to   
watch the movie we came here to see. I gotta go find Andrew too."   
  
Tuxedo Mask, watching the by-play between the senshi from the dark exit   
corridor, smiled with amusement. His lovely meatball headed heroine   
was too cute. Sometimes she just didn't have a clue.  
  
"Meatball Head, she's not talking about reading. She means LET'S GO   
HOME!" Rei razzed Serena. "I'm outa here."  
  
As the girls de-transformed and headed out the door, Tuxedo Mask   
stepped out of the shadows and crossed over to Sailor Moon. Serena   
gulped, why oh why, did she have to give in to that insane impulse.   
Tuxedo Mask moved fluidly like a black panther stalking his prey. She   
started backing away. In a flash, he had her by the arms. "Don't   
leave so soon," he entreated her. Sailor Moon pulled back, furiously   
trying to think up an excuse. "I've got to go get Andrew and er- look   
for Serena," she muttered hastily.   
  
Darien smiled beneath his mask, her nervousness was so visible, and so   
endearing. He loosened his grip and let his fingers trail down her   
arms until he was just clasping her fingertips. Doffing his hat with   
one hand, he bowed over her hand and his lips grazed the back of her   
glove in the European manner. "Then until we meet again, princess, if   
you must go."  
  
Sailor Moon looked back over her shoulder and coyly taunted the   
disappearing form of Tuxedo Mask, "If you see Darien, tell him to meet   
Andrew and Serena in the lobby at the concession stand."  
  
After transforming back to her usual school girl appearance, Serena   
retrieved Andrew. "I wonder where Darien is?" he speculated.  
  
Serena smiled, "Sailor Moon told me that we should wait in the   
concession area. Darien is supposed to meet us there."  
  
Darien wandered over, apparently from the other side of the building.   
"Sailor Moon, I mean Tuxedo Mask told me to meet you guys here," he   
said.  
  
Andrew laughed, "Well which was it? I mean it would be kinda hard for   
me, at least, to confuse those two."  
  
Darien ignored Andrew's snide comment, "I should get you two home. I   
don't think they will want to have another showing of 'that' film   
tonight."  
  
As they pulled into Serena's driveway, Darien turned to Andrew and   
asked, "So did we behave well enough tonight? Can we come back to the   
arcade again?" Serena paused to hear Andrew's response.  
  
"Oh, I guess it will be okay. But if you two start fighting again, out   
you go," Andrew conceded.  
  
"Great!" squealed Serena. She leaned over and kissed Andrew on the   
cheek before she hopped out of the car and ran inside.  
  
"No thank-you for me or nothing," grumbled Darien. "Why did she kiss   
you?"  
  
"All the girls like me. They just can't resist me," teased Andrew,   
throwing Darien's own words back at him.  
  
"Well Sailor Moon, I mean, Serena already kissed me once tonight,"   
bragged Darien. He couldn't let his friend to have the chance to one   
up him.  
  
"Sailor Moon. Serena. Confusing fantasy with reality again are we?   
Or probably neither one. Maybe it was only a dream, after all," Andrew   
sniped. "I saw YOU kiss Serena while she was asleep, so don't try to   
deny that. You're hopelessly gone on that girl," he added.  
  
"Oh just shut-up," muttered Darien as he drove toward Andrew's   
apartment.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Darien sat at the counter drinking coffee and razzing Andrew about his   
favorite futbol team's poor showing as they looked over the sports   
scores together. Andrew was pretending to work, in reality waiting for   
the start of the daily soap opera performance. Darien waited fitfully   
with barely concealed impatience.   
  
The ringing door chimes announced the arrival of another visitor. A   
yellow streamered blur dressed in school-girl uniform skidded into the   
arcade. Darien jumped up and greeted his favorite meatball head   
cheerfully, "Hey Meatball Head, crash into anybody on the way here?   
Fail any tests today? Maybe a twenty-six, twenty-eight, sixteen,   
thirty-four."  
  
Serena slid to a halt and pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket.   
Her brow furrowed in confusion as she looked down the list. "Those   
aren't on my list. Oh who cares; I want to play Sailor V. I don't have   
time for this." Looking at Darien with an annoyed expression, Serena   
scratched her nose with her index finger and retorted, "You seven,   
twenty-one. You seventeen!"  
  
Darien sighed, "She's right about that last one, and way too often."  
  
Andrew grabbed the piece of paper out of Darien's hands and started to   
read the list. "What do you mean? Hey this is a list of insults. So   
that's what you two have been doing. And let's see what you meant? Oh   
ho, funny!" Andrew started guffawing at Darien's discomfort.   
  
He turned the list over and looked at the back. "Whoa, these aren't   
insults." He regarded Darien slyly, "If that's the way you feel about   
her; why the hell don't you just tell her, you big idiot. Here we go,   
you're a real # 1, if you don't let her know. You 23."   
  
Andrew danced away from Darien's stool and ran over to Serena. "Hey   
Serena, you gotta see the rest of Darien's list. You won't believe   
it!" Andrew handed Serena the list with the back of it showing. As   
she read her face flushed a lovely rose hue. Darien slumped and buried   
his head on his arms on the counter. He was so dead.  
  
Andrew moved away and watched Serena's reaction. She seemed shocked   
and maybe by her expression, pleased. This was getting way too   
interesting.  
  
Serena went over to Darien. She backed away nervously and then re-  
approached him. Tears started to run down her face, and she coughed   
as her throat constricted. Darien looked up and his concern shone in   
his eyes as he brushed away the tears. "I'm sorry if I upset you. I   
couldn't tell you those things right out, so I made up a list. I'll   
understand if you hate me or are disgusted. I promise I won't bother   
you if that's what you want," he added uncertainly.  
  
Serena answered, "Of course I love you, baka. You're my friend, aren't   
you?" She wrapped her arms around Darien.  
  
"Of course. We are friends, if that's what you want." Darien answered   
as he returned her embrace. But that's not all I want, cried the small   
sad voice within his heart.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Continuing their conversation started outside the arcade, Darien and   
Serena scooted into the round booth in the far corner to save places   
for their friends. "You are impossibly aggravating! It's a good thing   
we're just friends. Living with you would be enough to drive any woman   
crazy. If we ever got married, you'd probably find some way to tease   
me even on our wedding day," Serena complained.  
  
Darien's face twitched into that irritating grin that was guaranteed to   
push Serena's hot buttons. She didn't even seem to realize what her   
words were implying about her train of thought. "I guarantee it,   
darling. I fully plan on teasing you until the day I die. And I'll   
find some way to continue even after that!" Darien retorted with an   
evil gleam in his eye.  
  
"Aarrgg!" Serena growled and launched herself onto Darien and began   
beating him about the head with a rolled up menu. He couldn't dodge   
very many of the blows since she was sitting on him, straddling his   
lap, and had him pinned down. He managed to catch her wrist and force   
her to drop her weapon, and pulled her in tightly, imprisoning her arms   
between them. He then stopped her attack in a way she did not expect;   
he kissed her.   
  
This countermeasure continued for quite a while until Darien   
experienced the uneasy feeling that they were being watched. Opening   
his eyes, he saw that they were surrounded by seven pairs of eyes   
peering at them intently. Ami, Lita, Mina, Rei, Andrew, Molly, and   
Melvin had surrounded their booth and were propped against the back of   
the seat on either side of them enjoying the show.  
  
Molly said, "You've been holding out on us, Serena. We want all the   
details. How long have you two been an item?"  
  
Mina and Rei looked at each other gloatingly. "Interrogation time. No   
mercy. We take no prisoners!" exclaimed Rei.   
  
Lita smacked one fist against her hand, "If they even try to escape,   
they'll have to face me!"  
  
Ami pulled out her "PDA", "I have all the questions we agreed on girls,   
right here in my computer."  
  
Melvin had his notebook and pencil ready, "Ok, guys just go slow so I   
can get it all down for the school gossip column."  
  
Serena looked at Darien; his face was as red as hers felt. "Do you   
think if we ignore them, they'll go away?"  
  
Darien assessed the odds, "I don't think so; they look pretty   
determined."  
  
Serena exclaimed disgustedly, "Get a life. GO AWAY!"   
  
Darien began to slide them toward the edge of the booth, as if to   
leave. Serena grabbed his face between her hands and caught his eyes   
with her own, "Love, we're not leaving. Ignore those idiots. I'm not   
through with you yet." And she resumed the kiss, which had been so   
rudely interrupted.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Serena's List:  
  
1 – baka  
3 – dork  
5 – conceited  
7 – obnoxious  
9 – egotistical  
11 – arrogant  
13 – jerk  
15 – jerk-wad  
17 – jerk-off  
19 – dope  
21 – moron  
23 – idiot  
25 – snob  
27 – annoying  
29 – man  
31 – ecchi  
33 – hentai  
  
Darien's list:  
  
2 – Meatball Head  
4 – klutz  
6 – whiney  
8 – crybaby  
10 – spaced out  
12 – ditz  
14 – daydreamer  
  
On the back of Darien's list:  
  
16 – darling  
18 – baby  
20 – my lovely MBH  
22 – my dear  
24 – my little bunny  
26 – beautiful  
28 – gorgeous  
30 – love  
32 – my love  
34 – I love you. 


End file.
